Last night I attended a party hosted by a young Saudi colleague to celebrate his engagement. There were about five dozen guests, mostly colleagues and friends of our host. There was no seggregated space for women because there were no women; it was an all male affair.
The event took place in a rented hall that was designed to resemble a castle, with high boundary walls complete with battlements. There was no moat, but a footpath along the frontage, and a moderate ramp from the gate to the road vaguely resembled a drawbridge.
Inside the gate was a nice green lawn. Our host and his family (well, half his family) were waiting there to greet guests. The intricate rules of Saudi style greetings are still a mystery to me. You just shake hands and say 'Assalamu alaikum' (peace be upon you) or 'Keifa Halak' (how do you do?) if you meet somebody you are not very familiar or intimate with. But in other cases you either kiss each others cheeks with loud smacking noises, or bump each other's cheeks several times in quick succession. What I still don't understand is how they decide whether to kiss or bump cheeks. And how many times.
My host kissed me several times, but I remained silent. When they kiss, they don't really seem to place the lips on your cheek, but make the noise of kissing from a slight distance.
Another very tall colleague stooped low to bring his cheek next to mine on my 5'-5" frame. After three bumps I thought that was enough and was moving apart, but he firmly drew me closer for a fourth and final bump.
I noticed that some students kissed their teachers on the forhead or on the top of their heads.
We (I went there with two other expatriate colleagues) were led into a long, rectangular hall room with sofas arranged along the walls. Guests who had arrived before us were sitting there and we went around shaking hands with each of them. After we took our seats, we were served with endless rounds of sweets and gawa, a very refreshing type of Arab coffee served in tiny little cups.
More guests continued to pour in and every few minutes we had to rise and shake hands with the new guests. Good exercise to whip up the appetite before dinner. About an hour and a half later we were herded to the lawn where dinner was served. I was expecting, rather hoping, a Saudi style dinner, where we would sit on the floor aound large platters of food, from which all of us would be eating with our hands.
Instead, the arrangemetn was for a western style buffet dinner. The food was eclectic, with Lebanese bread, Chinese spring rolls, Indian samosas, italilan style lasagna, several types of salads, hamur, chicken, vegetables and a platter of rice topped with a cooked lamb.
Our host and his father came to see how we were doing during our meal, just as we would do in our country. They thanked us for attending the party, which was of course our pleasure.
After the hearty meal, including desserts and a cup of tea, we took leave from the hosts and headed back home.
4 comments:
It must've been a very educational party. I see you picked up few things about the customs and how things are done in this country. Personally, I don't feel comfortable bumping a stranger's cheeks at a party, not because I think it's awkward or "gay," but because I think it's too much of a greeting for someone you just met and know nothing about. And by the way, it's usually other Arabs (Syrians, Egyptians, ..etc.) who actually kiss one another on the cheeks. Saudis, at least myself and the people around me, only bump cheeks and make that kiss sound, for sound effect. lol
It's a sign of respect to kiss someone on the nose, forehead, or head in Saudi. Usually performed by youth to the elderly.
The awkward, not so hygienic, and degrading types of greeting would be bumping noses to each other (usually a beduin-male greeting.) And kissing someone's shoulder (usually performed by suck ups to royalty and other people of higher status and great wealth.)
Naif, thank you for your comments. I am from South Asia, so I don't think there is anything "gayish" about men bumping each other's cheeks. Thanks for throwing some light on the issue. But I am still mystified about how people know how many times to bump their cheeks (unlike kissing, it has be coordinated between both parties!)
i am enlightened.thanks.glad i don't have to go through such an ordeal elsewhere
@Prof.Dr.Nazrul: I understand your inhibition, and I was like that too, but once you start doing it, you get used to it. My problem is I still don't understand how to coordinate with my counterpart. Are we just going to shake hands, bump cheeks (how many times) or kiss (again, how many times)? I'm sure when two Saudis are involved, they pass between them subtle cues to synchronize their actions.
Post a Comment